If you want to read a little brain fart post please carry on…
I don’t know if I have always been like this but the last few weeks or so I have actually really noticed it. With a change in job and learning lots of new things, plus trying to keep on top of teaching dance, socialising and general life I have been feeling really under pressure. Pressure put on all by myself. No one else. Just me. I think most people around me are quite chilled with my current position in life at the moment. I don’t know if it is the fact I want to try please everyone (which I know isn’t a great trait? Or the fact I want to do good at everything? But it’s a lot and I am the only one adding on the pressure. Which I know is stupid! There is no need to pressure myself when I am doing good.
I was wondering if it was that I have less time at the moment? And then the weekends end up becoming jam packed full of so many things because I am busy in the week. Seeing people, errands, shopping and general life all get squished into two days. I know starting a full time job is a big change to get used to but know I am realising how little time I actually have. It is just a lot less time now. I used to have lots of days free. I would wonder around charity shops or just chill at home or go for a drive somewhere new. Which yes that was nice but I don’t always miss it because I do like being busy. I think it may also be the fact that I am made out to be the ‘Lazy one’ in the family, which has kind of created this mind set of me having to prove myself even more. I know it probably is only banter, but still it effects people. Yes I dance and work in an office and they work outside but that doesn’t mean I work less. Well whatever it is it all gets a bit too much and then I realise it’s gotten too much that I need to slow down.
In the long run I don’t know why I have been feeling so under pressure because I really don’t need to be. I know it’s stupid. I just get so in my head when I’ve been busy and I get tired and a bit stressed. Then it all bubbles up and I have to take a step back.
So there you go told you it would be a brain fart post!
Little Mayfly x