Most people who know me will know I have a massive appetite and I love food! I’m not fussy at all! Any food, any flavour I’m pretty much always up for it!! But over the past two years eating out has become something I’ve actually really struggled with. And I am writing to kind of question/wonder if anyone else has experienced/had trouble with this?
To me the thought of getting anxious when I eat/eating out seems so so so stupid, that I can’t really put into words. And plus it hits you when you don’t expect, you can be sat fine one minute but the next feel so panicked and anxious. I could be my fine normal self and be really hungry and the second a plate of food is put in front of me I panic and just feel so sick at the thought of eating anything. Or I’ve started to eat and almost panic half way through (Its odd). And to be completely honest with you guys a lot of times I have had to go and be sick just to get rid of some of that stomach churning sickness feeling.
To be honest I am not sure what actually triggers the feeling of ‘I can’t eat this, or I feel like I will panic and be sick if I eat this’. I’ve wondered before if it’s the pressure of eating all the food as I was always brought up to eat everything as you don’t want to waste any, or I’ve paid for that so eat it. But then I mostly feel like this when I’m eating out so I’ve wondered if it is the pressure of being in a new environment? And normally you eat out with different people so maybe it’s that almost self-consciousness that pushes me over the edge. Because I do know that if a restaurant or pub is on the warm side or there is pressure to order I probably will feel like this (which again feels so stupid). I thought I had gotten over this eating panic thing by picking smaller portions or simple food I know I will like, but the past few weeks its happened once or twice. I mean I can calm myself down and normally head to the toilet for a little breather from it. Like the other day when I went for sushi I was having the best time, I got a little full and some sushi is big and it was a lot to fit in my mouth, I had a mini panic so off I went to the toilet for a breather and I was then ok. But I find myself I almost get angry with myself for letting myself feel like that because I know I’m ok and there is no reason to panic.
It’s odd and annoying and I don’t know if this make any sense as it’s a weird thing and this is such a brain fart post? But I kinda wrote this in hope that someone else feels/gets like this? Let me know in the comments?
Thanks for taking a look.
Little Mayfly x