Not Everyone Understands…

Not everyone understands mental health issues which I get! I also know it’s difficult because everyone suffers in a different way and there are so many forms of mental health issues. And not everyone understands when someone is suffering and when they aren’t! And all I know is what I’ve learnt from myself so I guess that’s all I can relate it to.

I’m not going to lie but the past few weeks I’ve been struggling! Anyone who’s a sufferer will know that they are a master at hiding when they are feeling bad. My heads been all over the place and I just don’t know which way to turn! I can’t help but turn everything negative when my heads filling with the depressive black fog comes back again! The more I try to ignore it the more I get anxious and make everything worse. No matter what it is I turn it negative. But that’s just a way I cope with everything going on I basically go into shutdown mode. Saying no to everything and anything I can. Hiding myself from everything that could possibly make things worse. When this happens I can’t motivate myself, it like being pulled down by some force I can’t control no matter how many times I wake up and try to motivate myself to get up and go. So Avoiding situations become key! Yes even ones that could benefit me, ones that I will probably kick myself for. And of course as you can probably guess this pisses off everyone around me as I curl into an aggressive ball of self pitty that won’t budge.The only way I can get my view out it to shout and be angry about it.

Yes I know I have a lot to be happy about but in this state I can’t reason with those things. They become worthless and faded in value. Still failing to find a part time job after hundreds of applications and seeing so many people around me succeed at amazing things, I can’t help but compare myself to everyone else.

Yesterday I approached someone and said I was struggling, (not that I admit it very often!) it almost felt like they shunned it, almost as if I was doing it for attention or something. Yes I know I Blog about this kinda thing but I never talk about it for attention. I know people try and help when I get in this state but there is no instant cure or magic word to make me feel back on track. As I said at the start I know not everyone understands mental health issues!!

Any positive suggestion I find a way to be negative. It’s a waiting game for a while. Yes I probably come across as a bitch and push people away and I’m sorry if I’ve don’t that to you. Just give me some time to rid the fog! I know not everyone understands it and it seems over the top or stupid to them it’s not a switch I can’t turn it on or off!!

Well there’s some Brian fart thoughts for you!

Little Mayfly x

14 thoughts on “Not Everyone Understands…

  1. I’m sorry you feel this way. I totally understand as I went through depression and still have anxiety. There are good and bad days and I’ve definitely struggled too recently and what you said really resonated with me. I think you should take a day to relax, get washed and dressed, go for a walk or go somewhere new. I know not much helps in this situation but sometimes a change of environment can help. Hope you get better soon x

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    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s crazy how it’s still kinda taboo to talk about our struggles. I don’t talk about my struggles because I’m afraid of the exact same thing, being shunned.. Or what’s worse, just have it shrugged off because I’m apparently just “having a bad day”… For like a decade now, sure! I wish the stigma would disappear and that it would be more normal to talk about things like these, it would make everything so much easier.

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  3. Thank you so much for posting this girl it’s about time we get more bloggers opening up about anxiety!! You’re doing so well and I want you to know I’m proud of you and I hope you’re feeling better soon. Mental health sucks so fucking bad but girl you got this xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gosh, the part about where you avoid situations even ones that could benefit you and then get angry & shout about it… sounds just like me. I’m sorry you’re feelin’ foggy, hope it clears soon. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope writing this post helps you and please know you’re not alone! It’s hard to open up to people, you’re not sure what their reaction will be and sometimes it can be hard to find someone who will listen and let you express your feelings. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time finding a job, I have been there but please don’t give up. Screaming and getting angry can be good if it releases your feelings and what you’re bottling up, sometimes we need to break down in order move on and for others to realise what people go through xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for taking the time (and having the openness) to write this post. ❤ You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, and I'm so sorry that someone you opened up to about all this actually shunned you. That's not cool. As if it wasn't already a difficult thing to talk to someone else about. There really needs to be less of a stigma when talking about mental health, and posts like this one are a step in that direction, so thank you. Wishing you all the best. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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